Monday, January 8, 2007

Memo to All Blogging Tories

Originally posted at ChuckerCanuck

My sources at the Leo Strauss Institute for Global Conspiracies tells me that the following email memo failed to reach a huge proportion of blogging Tories. So, if you didn't get it, please read on. If you are not a Blogging Tory, pretend this post was never written, thanks.

TO: Blogging Tories

FROM: Planning Committee for the Alliance of Global Conspiracies, Internet Division (PCAGCID)

SUBJECT: Concerted Campaign to Assasinate Stephane Dion's Character

Hello everyone! In general, we are very happy with how you have been performing over the past twelve months. Except maybe him. However, recently, the Liberal Godfather of Blogging, has been wise to PCAGCID involvement in your posts and we must all do a better job of obscuring the true nature of the Blogging Tory Propaganda Machine. Effective immediately, the following is the new protocol for all blogging Tory posts:

1. PCAGCID emails to each BTer the content of that days post. No email, no post. (Some days, things are "too crazy" or you feel "under the weather", so you don't post. That's our first means of individuation.)

2. Each post will be put together following this formula:

a. Introduction.

b. Personal Experience #1. Transportation/Travel/Place.
for example, you could talk about rush hour, a trip to Cancun or the view from a particular conference room at work.

c. contents of email we sent you, word for word, including typos (we insert those randomly for even more individuation.)

d. Personal Experience #2. Food/Wine/Music.
something simple about what you ate (bad or good) or are going to eat. Maybe a craving for something. What wine do you recommend? Provoke a debate by saying if Phil Collins were Canadian, he'd be a Harpermaniac.

This is our second means of individuation, by wrapping the mesage in a fabric of autobiography. People will read it and know it comes from the heart.

3. BTers publish the post at different times each day.

The third manner to individuate the blog entries will be for each blogger to post her posts at different times day after day. 3:00 pm one day. 7:41 am the next. etc.etc.

If we follow the new protocol, we should be able to put even the most dogged liberal bloodhound off the trail. Good luck!

Hope that helps, I'm off to finish off Kendall Jackson's Cab Sauvignon decanted in our new Christmas decanter. Then I have to go pick up Rainbow who went to the railroad tracks to play with a couple of friends from preschool.

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